SAT: ADVERSITY SCORE… YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!

YO HOMIE, TELL ME AGAIN, HOW MANY BULLET HOLES WILL IT TAKE TO GET ME INTO OXFORD, YALE AND/OR HARVARD? YO HOMIE, I UNDERSTAND THAT BY LIVING IN A FATHERLESS HOME, I CAN GET INTO ANY IVY LEAGUE COLLEGE OR UNIVERSITY WITHOUT PAYING A DIME. YO HOMIE, MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR SAID, I CAN EVEN GET PAID TO ATTEND AN IVY LEAGUE COLLEGE OR UNIVERSITY IF MY JUNIOR HIGH AND HIGH SCHOOL RECORDS SHOW THAT I HAVE ASSAULTED MY TEACHERS AT LEAST 10 TIMES. CHECK THIS HOMIE, I EVEN GET MORE MONEY AND A PRESCRIPTION FOR HIGHLY POTENT MARIJUANA WHILE AT COLLEGE IF MAY HIGH SCHOOL RECORDS SHOW THAT I HAVE PISTOL WHIPPED AT LEAST ONE OF MY TEACHERS. YEAH HOMIE, THEY SAY IF I VOTE DEMOCRAT FOR LIFE THE IVY LEAGUE COLLEGE OR UNIVERSITY WILL PAY MY RENT FOR AN APARTMENT AND/OR CONDO OFF CAMPUS… ALSO, IF I SHOW UP TO MY CLASSES FOR JUST (5) FIVE MINUTES THE DEAN OF THE COLLEGE WILL LET ME DRIVE HIS/HER CAR ON THE WEEKENDS… GET THIS HOMIE, I CAN’T READ OR WRITE… GUESS WHAT HOMIE, MY NIGGAH, I’M GOING TO COLLEGE!