AH-HAH! Baseball, America’s favorite pastime. Surely, if one is not passing the time by having sex or masturbating, which should not take too long if the proper stimuli is presented. Ouch! What the hell does sex and masturbation have to do with the game of Baseball? Well let’s put this American Pastime under the microscope and see what it offers. In the game of Baseball, testosterone driven men make sexually vulgar gestures by grabbing their crouch and using a long dark bat (Penis) to hit a little white ball (Caucasian Sperm or Recessive Genetic Material) out of a park and/or stadium shaped like a females uterus. There is nothing more masculine then to watch these testosterone driven men spit gooey, semen like substances out of their mouths, while they attempt to hit a home run or score on a baseball diamond that personifies the anatomy of the females sex organs. It would be interesting to observe the behavioral dynamic of both fans and players if one were to replace the little white ball with a little black ball and replace the long dark bat with a long white bat, and bring in the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and place them in a protected area visible to both fans and players. Oh, and if man was designed to go nine innings during sexual intercourse, the entire planet would shift on its axis and slow its rotation to 9 miles per hour. So let the Brain Cells begin to bust because you have just been served a bowl of the most vicious and violent sexual assault called Baseball. For you college students seeking a hypothesis or thesis statement for your dissertation, try this one on for size: Which American Professional Sport (i.e. Baseball, Football, Basketball or Golf) contributes to an increase in crimes of incest and/or sexual assault upon Caucasian females in general and “Non-White” females in particular?